Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Strange, Conspiracy Theory-Laden, Vaguely Biblical Pictures (with hilarious captions!)

There are many things I wish I had time to write about: politics, economics, pop culture, religion....Actually, that kind of sums up my repertoire, so, let me amend my introductory statement to be, "There are four things I wish I had time to write about." Now, I would like to talk about these things, but I would also like to pass my university classes and graduate sometime this decade, so I'm afraid that today, I'm going to shoot for something a little lower: witty picture captions.

Specifically, I want to comment upon pictures from a Facebook group I've noticed called Last Days Bible.

So far, I haven't been able to track down which non-English-speaking country the creator of this group is from, but it's not for a lack of intriguing (if contradictory) hints: for example, the accompanying blog has a news ticker...for Saudi Arabia. The author of all blog posts on the front page (and, quite possibly, all blog posts) has his or her name Chinese characters ('Traditional Han' characters, as Google Chrome tells me, when it offers to translate it for me). The supporters of the Facebook group are from all over, including a Baptist minister in Florida.

However, it's not these somewhat mysterious details that drew me in; no, I think that can best be explained by the opening text on its accompanying blog:

You have convinced me, random mish-mash of words. I wanna rapture. I no wanna left-behind.
Oh, yes. It's one of those blogs.

The Pictures
Add a guitar shaped like an ax and I would buy this album.
Suck it, long-defunct Egyptian belief system! Yeah!

Pope as evil anti-christ figure? Sure, who hasn't posited that?
Skull-faced Uncle Sam representing the evil military? Why not?
But Queen Elizabeth as the evil financial overlord of the coming apocalypse? Queen Elizabeth?!
I'm sensing a real anti-British-monarchy sentiment going on here.
Back in my day, Pokemon was a little less...edgy.
Also: Bottom-left. The anti-British theme again...?
One last thing: Bottom-right. What...the...huh?

If I'm ever in a position where I need to teach people how to make flow
charts, I am using this as my in-class example.
And, as a parting thought...

Ten points if you can tell me what exactly saying.



    1. I never thought I'd say it, but maybe McNaughton missed his calling in life. Heavily politicized polemic painter, sure, but not in America--he should be painting British themes! There's a whole monarchy over there, Jon, just waiting for you!

  2. How did you find this group? Also, it's nice to know that America is really moving down on the hate list. We're only represented by creepy military skeletons. But it looks like the UK really needs to work on their image. Maybe when the Dark Knight Rises from (or before) the new London Fire . . . because of Bart Simpson? . . . Point is, I don't think whatever that last thing is about can make things worse for the UK. From the looks of it their queen is not fairing well. Jubilee indeed.

    Also, I'm going to go out on a limb and confess that I find the train of thought behind the Egyptian breakdown a little hard to follow. Maybe that's just me.

    1. I had a random friend on Facebook share one of their pictures. Curious (it was kind of a strange picture, and I'm always on the lookout for those...), I checked out the group he posted it from, and, well, the rest is history.

      If you want something truly confusing, follow the link at the bottom of the last picture ( That site's proprietor is a man from Tennessee (I think, I could be remembering that wrong) who claims he reversed his personal aging process by obeying God's commands. He makes other claims too. Other, no less wonderful claims.

    2. Bonus delight: it's called That domain name just needs to exist.

    3. I hope you visited that site and watched the video on his front page.

    4. I just watched that video. Well, some of that video; the editing was kind of giving me a headache. I amused myself by watching how much the lighting behind him changed. I wonder how long he spent sitting there making that video--much less editing it all?


    Also, Casey speaks truth.

    1. Make up and clever lighting. They've done the same thing with Madonna for almost 12 years. (Zing!)

    2. "Okay, that's a pretty good burn, Patrice."

  4. I didn't put this in the actual article, but my favorite part of the Prince Charles picture is actually the caption Last Days Bible gave it in Facebook: "RESEARCH."