Friday, October 26, 2012

In Fairness: A Post About Obama

In reviewing my additions to this blog, I've realized that, where politics are concerned, I've had a habit of magnifying the faults of conservative issues while largely defending (or, at times, ignoring) those of liberal issues.  I think this has been a result of my own shifting political allegiances; as I've grown more distant from the far-right rhetoric I enjoyed as a teenager, I've taken more issue with it, and as I've developed tentative liberal beliefs I've tried to bolster them.  This is entirely self-serving and biased, of course, but I don't think I've ever been too reserved about that.

In particular, I've been quite kind to the Obama administration.  While I took great pains in pointing out what I didn't like about each of the candidates in the Republican primaries, I gave President Obama a relative tongue-bathing in our recent political roundtable.

Pictured: Journalism

Monday, October 22, 2012

Christmas Blessing (a Missionary Story)

I want to take a break from my usual routine of satire and silliness to tell my Christmas story. I know it's a little early for that sort of thing, but this actually took place in October too. It was 2006; I was a missionary serving in Charleston, South Carolina.

It was a rough time for a number of reasons. My companion was affable but mostly uninterested in missionary work, and after seven weeks of shouldering most of the workload alone and without success I was tired and frustrated. I was right in the middle of my two year service, long enough that it was hard to remember not having been a missionary, but with the end still very far away. Not that I was counting down the days: I liked many of the people we met, and Charleston was beautiful area. Still, those were long, stressful days, sometimes even depressing ones.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Political Roundup: The Highly Debatable Edition

And now, the only news that you ever need to read, from the source so unbiased we make a random number generator look like a weighted random number generator.

-After a long hiatus, election season is finally upon us, and gentlemen of good birth are turning their attention to affairs of state, with the first presidential debate held last week. Men of taste unanimously declared Msr. Willard Romney, esq, the runaway winner, citing his "superior elocution," "magnificently rounded calves," and "numerous servants" compared to "that tawdry, swarthy-looking fellow."

-The debate covered topics ranging from healthcare to tax policy, although a CNN panel of undecided voters complained that it sometimes got "a little too, you know, fact-y" and reportedly spent most of the time arguing among themselves whether Coke Zero or Diet Coke was "bubblier."

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Times They are a Changin': Missionary Edition

Day One of General Conference is over, and I think we're all convinced nothing can happen tomorrow that would top today (although Holland hasn't spoken yet...)

Meanwhile the girl next to him is texting her bishop for an interview...

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Politics Done Right

Today was the day you were all waiting for - the Presidential Debate. After all this tip-toeing around, we can finally get some straight answers from the candidates. I've found some of the best clips of both Romney and the POTUS to help you make your decision this election year.

Mitt gets gritty right off the bat, "So many people are rubbing on their messy parts. It's awful, awkward, and germy." and, "I'll chop a squid and mash a pickle and make you drink it." He asks the deep questions, "Is that your underwear up there?" "You gotta ask a black boy, who did it?" and, "Are you a rapist?" He also addresses the hard hitting issues, "Old people are stinky - spike their drink." and most importantly, "Yo momma can't reach my body and touch it. It's my body, ya see?"