Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Mormon History #1: The First Vision (As Told Through Twitter)

I've always believed that my responsibilities as a blogger are not only to myself, my readers, and the world at large, but also to posterity. To that end my ultimate goal is to one day see this humble blog join the likes of Wikipedia and the library of Alexandria as one of mankind's greatest treasures of knowledge and wisdom. Indeed, we're already part way there: I have learned in the course of events that Expert Textperts is known to some as "that blog that does posts with GIFs." And while I embrace that lofty title, I am not satisfied with it.

And so, I present to you our latest work: the tale of Mormonism itself, beginning with its 19th century inception and eventually continuing in future installments to the present day, or until I get distracted or bored. It is a tale of miracles and heavenly visitations, yet I also seek to maintain a dialogue with the latest scholarship and address historical problems in order to present the reader, insofar as I am capable, with all available facts. So enjoy this first of an indeterminate number of posts on Mormon History...as told through Twitter.

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Poor Edith

As December 2013 draws to a close and January 2014 approaches on the horizon, I think we all know what will soon be upon us. What will haunt us all every Sunday night with its melodic opening sequence; its increasingly melodramatic and (dare I say) tedious plots; its ever valiant dowager. Kept in the dark recesses of some twisted Anglophilic prison made possible through contributions from viewers like you, Laura Linney shall be unleashed to cheerfully welcome American viewers back to Downton Abbey.

  Welcome to Masterpiece Theatre. I'm Laura Linney ... And y'all will not believe the shit that's gonna go down this season. The Crawley bitches and that tiny one downstairs in the kitchen go absolutely cray-cray.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

On Pants

This morning, I woke up undecided.

Last year, I couldn't do it. I didn't have the guts to put on a pair of pants to church. No reason why. I've never been told I couldn't; I just accepted that skirts and dresses were the normal thing to wear to church.

I showered, sent my husband off to Utah alone for the last time before our move, and stared into my closet. Which pants would I even wear? Did I have anything purple to at least show some solidarity with my Pants Day ladies? Nope, my only purple shirt did not survive our move here.