Thursday, November 13, 2014

10 Historical Issues The Church Still Isn't Discussing Openly (with gifs for some reason)

With the recent release and subsequent media coverage of essays on addressing controversial issues in Mormon history like polygamy and the black priesthood ban, I thought it useful to remind everyone that while the church's steps toward greater candor and transparency are laudable, there are a number of troubling issues it is still reluctant to confront. In the interest of promoting dialogue and encouraging further progress, I've compiled ten of the most egregious examples along with reaction gifs to boost my pageviews as a visual aid.

1. Joseph Smith shot a man in Kirtland just to watch him die.

2. Brigham Young never washed his hands after using the bathroom.

3. One time, Emma Smith punched Eliza R. Snow in the face. It was awesome.

4. The year after the Word of Wisdom was revealed, Nauvoo's high school football team (The Saints) went 2-7 and missed the playoffs.

5. The original purpose of the temple's celestial room was as a space for the High Council to play Dungeons and Dragons.

6. Joseph's descriptions of the Gold Plates' weight and dimensions are inconsistent with known metals and alloys, but nearly identical to those of a 1993 Panasonic VCR.

7. All of Joseph Smith's marriages were recorded in William Clayton's journal, but scholars still debate the exact number due to Clayton's legendarily poor handwriting.

8. The church has technically never rescinded the little-discussed priesthood ban on men taller than 6'6".

9. Zina D.H. Young engaged in polyandry, having been married both to Joseph Smith and to her job as a workaholic owner of a struggling downtown bookstore.

10. There is no documentary evidence that Wilford Woodruff actually existed.